Where do I start with this! I am big sis from a family of 5 siblings 4 sisters and 1 brother and I am the oldest. Straight away you maybe able to see I am very mumsy. This topic is so close to my heart as a mother of two boys.
The relationship of a Mother daughter is formed from birth, this does not mean everyone’s relationship with their mother is the same. Someone once said to me “Each finger on both hands is not the same”.
Some people can have a fantastic healthy relationship with their Mothers whilst others can be quite the opposite. Culture, expectations, and traditions play a massive part of the relationship we form with our Mothers.
In a healthy Mother and Daughter relationship which is built on personal growth and boundaries we set. What we should recognise is as we grow from child to adult the expectations of our Mothers does not change, we expect patience, strength, empathy, humility, understanding, forgiveness, faithfulness, and love.
Mothers are the backbone of the family and provide emotional support 24/7, they help to heal us when we are not well, and model how to be a functional adult.
What we may forget is life is a rollercoaster each one of us and you never know the impact of the next turn and the impression this leaves on our lives and the affect it has on our behaviours and actions towards our relationships.
We can assess our relationships that we endeavour with anyone. I do this when I feel uncomfortable with a person or situation, at that point I think about how this person makes me feel and what my options are to continue with a healthy relationship or what boundaries may need to be set to continue.
You should not be competing with your Mother or vice versa, your Mother should not become enmeshed in your life and neither daughter or Mother should humiliate or disrespect each other.
A Mother Daughter relationship are defined by boundaries and healthy qualities that both poses, you have a responsibility to one another which should by nurtured through transparency and honesty.
You start as a daughter, become a sister, a daughter in-law, and a Mother, at each stage think how this person would feel in each situation you encounter, be kind, empathetic and consider the actions you take and how they impact that relationship.
Oh! my goodness I can now look at my family and say each relationship me and my siblings have is quite different with my own Mother.