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He laughed in my face and said:
2014-07-31, 19:57

"He laughed in my face and said: ‘whatever... Do one u kafar b***h'

I was brought up by devout Sikh parents and from a young age I was taught the basics of Sikhi. My family were just the average working class people and we lived a westeised lifestyle. I had many privileges, one of which was being able to go into higher education and attend University through which I made many friends from all different faiths and backgrounds. During my years at university I befriended a young Muslim boy. I was aware that interfaith relationships were not accepted by my family; however, I did not let this stop me accepting the young boy’s offer of courting me.

I spent a lot of time with Naz, during my time at University we began to get closer to each other and began to build a relationship. All the negative things that were spoken about Muslims, to me I felt they were all wrong; Muslims were not that bad as people have said. Naz was nice to me he was genuine. He always told me he loved me and cared about me and someday would marry me. He was always taking me out and buying me gifts and showing gestures of affection. Just after our finals our relationship was getting stronger and by this point our relationship had become very intimate.

At University a talk was happening about real life cases on conversions and grooming. The matter interested me so I attended the talk. The speaker was a non Sikh who put forward many real life cases with recorded interviews with girls who had been victims of the Muslim prey. The lecture was a shock to my system, the speaker highlighted some points that seemed to hit a nerve but also opened a pool of knowledge that up until now I had been oblivious to. After the talk I felt so guilty knowing that I had been sleeping with a Muslim for the past four years.

I began to have serious thoughts about my future and realised if I married Naz I would have to convert to a Muslim and my children would be Muslims and their children and every generation to come. I would have to sacrifice my Sikhi and that of all my family including my future generations to the Islamic religion, and all because of my actions. If I stayed with Naz my children would be deprived of going to the Gurdwara of where I have grown up and instead would have to go to the mosque. My parents have given me so much freedom to have an education, dress how I please and have never forced me to practice Sikhism; they have allowed me to live an equal life to my brothers and have never treated me any different to them, this would all change if I stayed and married this Muslim boy.

I met Naz a few days later and told him about my feeling and I was upset, I wanted to break off from the relationship because I was worried what’s going to happened after marriage and the reaction I got made me cringe and sick, I wished that I could tu the clock back and never allowed such scum in to my life. He laughed in my face and said ‘whatever... Do one u kafar b***h' and those words till this very day ring in my ears' I realise, he just wanted me to become Muslim and that is all he wanted. I was so so stupid thinking “he love me”.

I was in a deep sense of shock I felt dirty and unclean I felt so used and ashamed of myself and ashamed of what I had done. I was at such a low point i did not know what to do or who to talk to I had come across the Sikh helpline on Facebook so I contacted the helpline.

They were so understanding and sympathetic and put me at ease. I explained to them what had happened to me and how I was feeling about myself, they did not judge me, they were very supportive and helped me. I would like to thank the sevadaars for helping me sort out my life and stopping me form losing all hope and faith, they made me realise that my Sikhi and my gurus are there to help me no matter what.

I would like to share my story with everyone, but especially the sisters who are in the false Illusion that I was under with this Muslim boy. He did not love me or care for me, no matter how genuine they seem to be

"I was so lost due to their manipulation" - received by the Sikh HelpLine
2014-07-31, 19:48

"I was lost due to their manipulation.."

We hear of people from different faiths trying to manipulate the minds of the Sikh people, by being cunning and deceitful, but such things are taking place within our own faith. There are some Sikhs who not just carry out anti Sikh behavior, but also promote it.

I had met such people in my life, they were cunning and manipulative and very convincing that they made me believe in that the way they were living and behaving was the right way for a Sikh to live. They convinced me so much that I turned against the values of my family, without realising it I broke all relationships with all the people who truly cared for me. I left my parents, my siblings and my future partner. These people knew exactly what they were doing and the reason they turned me against my loved ones was so that they could control me and my mental state. I was so absorbed in to their way of thinking that I was being told that nitnem and doing bani was a waste of time. I knew my Sikhi and my gurus’ teachings, but when being told by those who are supposedly following and living the Sikh way of life, it did make me think and question Sikhi in a way that I had never before, and things began to play on my mind.

The things they were telling me and making me do went against everything that I had been taught about my faith from my family; I was so lost due to their manipulation. As time went on my life was changing but not for the better, they were slowly mentally breaking me down and controlling all aspects of my life. I had nowhere to tu, my family and loved ones were no longer there to support me, so I spoke to some Gursikh friends, and I approached the Gurdwara about this matter and explained the things that were happening to me and what I was being told about the Sikh faith. But no one seemed to take this matter seriously, the people at the Gurdwara just laughed at me and thought it to be ridiculous. I knew what I had seen and heard but no one wanted to listen to me and all I wanted to do was to stop people from going through the mental torture that I was being put through.

Eventually a very good friend of mine listened to me, and empathised with the mental torture I was going through and knew I needed help, they put me in touch with the Sikh helpline who took this matter very seriously. The Sikh helpline listened to me when no one else did, when; I was telling them about what had happened to me and the actions I took as a result of the manipulation, they did not judge me for my actions and being a lost Sikh. I did not feel scared or lost anymore I was able to freely speak about my problems and I know I was not been frowned or looked down upon. The Sikh helpline were very understanding and respectful and responded well, they began an investigation to the claims I had made about my experience with these people.

The Sikh helpline put a lot of time and effort in to the investigation and remained impartial and no judgments were made until full proof was available. The Sikh helpline was very supportive and eventually solved the issue by putting a stop to it. I felt a great sense of relief that the truth was finally out about these people, and to expose the truth about how they were manipulating vulnerable people for their own personal gain. I thank the Sikh helpline with all my heart, they have helped me get through the most difficult time of my life and they have saved many other people from going through the pain and the suffering that I had to experience, but also there are many other unknown victims who also went through the same torture.

Domestic Violence Case - Call received by the Sikh HelpLine
2014-07-31, 19:46

"May Akaal Purakh Waheguru Continue to bless the helpline to continue to help silent victims like me.."

A call was received by the Sikh Helpline regarding a rape case that had been brought to the forefront after the highlighted press case from Delhi in the recent news. A sister who was in deep distress having hidden her pains for many decades until she couldn’t bear it no more.

“I was married for 15 years, to a once loving and caring man...who under the influence of alcohol became very abusive with domestic violence and sexual abuse too.....I had two beautiful children with my husband but years later, began to realise that a lot was being hidden from me, and all the money I had been saving for all my married years was disappearing into a dark black hole, that I couldn’t trace. I took the physical abuse for many years towards the end of my marriage, including forced intercourse against my consent, but us women, have the duty to look after the house, our husband and our children and it is not easy when one is being continuously beaten and bruised as well as salved for one’s pleasure.

Over the years of my marriage, I was continuously raped by my husband on several occasions but had no one to turn to...however, when i saw how men were getting away with such bad acts of crime in india, I was at breaking point as i had never been able to voice my experiences....and I picked up the phone to the Sikh Helpline for help.....

I was fortunate enough that my call was dealt with immediately and passed onto a sister who gave me all the time i needed to get through the memories that I had just brushed under the carpet for many decades.....a sikh helpline sevadaar came to see me where i was comfortable and listened to me.....and talked to me......now months later...i feel i am liberated of my past that I was dragging along with me everywhere....I feel free...and its all thanks to the sevadaars at the Sikh Helpline who genuinely want to help and do whatever it takes to make sufferers like me feel better....I came to realise that all i needed was a listening ear and waheguru let the Sikh Helpline take this seva.

I want to thank the sevadaars at the Sikh Helpline who are doing such a great job...sometimes all we need is a non judgmental listener to let us get things off our chest....may the akaal purakh waheguru continue to bless the helpline to continue help silent victims like me..

A call received by the Sikh HelpLine
2014-07-31, 19:33

“I was in a suicidal state” when my fiancé broke our engagement.

We have been engaged for three years now, and it was a second marriage for the both of us. Things were great between us and our families. Then over the last few weeks, I noticed a lot of changes in my fiancé. His personality was changing, he became more abrupt and began hiding things from me lying to me, and he was declining my calls and not responding to my message. I had suspicions that he was having an affair with another woman and with the continuation of his unusual behavior confirmed my suspicions. When I confronted him and brought the subject up in a conversation, I was made to feel that it was my fault that our relationship was falling apart, and that I was the reason my fiancé was looking elsewhere. In Sikhi, adultery is a sin, and I would never dream of doing this to someone else, but it was happening to me. My world was collapsing I had nowhere to go or anyone to talk to, until I came across the Sikh Helpline.The phenji’s that I spoke had taken a lot of time to help me and she listened to my problems and helped me through a difficult time. It was so difficult and heart breaking to put my family through the pain that I was going through. I have been in regular contact with the phenji for many months now; she has shown me the light and given me a lot of support she was non-judgmental, friendly. The helpline has been a blessing for me, I really needed someone to listen to me and understand me. The helpline is easily accessible, the sevadaars are here to help all Sikh’s and my Sikh sisters who need a sisters help. I thank you Waheguru “may god allow the Sikh helpline to carry on doing a great job, helping people like me through such difficult times”

The message that our sevadaar received from the bhenji above after getting through this time of hardship...

“Thank you phenji…you have helped a falling sister rise again. Only god knows how you much you have helped me. I believe that god sent you my way…”

“I don’t know what I would have done without you”

‘I now go to the Gurdwara every day and I recite Chaupai sahib and Mool mantr daily. I’ve started to lea Punjabi at the local Gurughar. I am finding the routes that maybe my parents did not instill in me as a child, and because of a bad time in my life it has now led me to the Sikh Helpline where I have met friends rather than strangers but it has also led me back to my Sikhi’

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