Sexually Molested and Abused

Looking for Attention:

This is a case of a girl who contacted the Sikh Helpline after having nowhere else to turn, at a real low point in her life. She reluctantly explained her dire situation of being regularly sexually molested and abused by a few of her male peers at school. The boys taking full advantage of the girl’s vulnerable mental state; unaware of her fractured, emotional psyche. Maybe they just didn’t care but for satisfying their own lustful needs. Little did they know the despair they were compounding into the heart of their victim.

The volunteer, who handled the call, gently and sensitively probed into her home life; to get insight as to what her family environment was like. At this point it is worth pointing out that anyone who reaches out for help are the true warriors in life. It takes real bravery to look inside and recognise if there is a problem in your life. Further still, to take action is truly courageous.

Reluctantly the brave girl opened up.  It transpired the her average evening would go something like this:

Her father would come home after work, with a bottle of alcohol and sit in front of the TV with his usual tagline of dont disturb me or I am watching TV leave me alone. He would not interact with anyone until it was time to eat, at which point the, the mother, would bitterly supply sustenance and then would go off into the other room to watch her TV. The kids would then go off to their own rooms.

It was no wonder that this girl was craving love, care and affection. These are basic emotional needs of humanity, regardless of gender and when these emotional necessities are not met, a hole manifests itself within which will fill up with either positive or negative experiences. More often than not, the deficit is filled with negative experiences because of the lack of personal information and experience to deal with emotional challenges in life. Sadly, in this

case the, victim, looked for meeting her emotional needs by giving herself mentally and physically to those who paid her the slightest of attentions; subconsciously taking cues from her home life, thinking that her parents relationship was a normal one. This in turn made her vulnerable to some of the harshest realities in life, which she experienced first hand at such an early age.

The case was then escalated within Sikh Helpline as top priority and at the earliest possible moment, a meeting was organized with the parents to discuss and resolve the predicament that their daughter was in and to explain that the atmosphere at home was having a detrimental effect on her emotional and social skills.

It is important to note here that regardless of what was going on at home, the despicable acts by the boys are in no way justified and that any behaviour and depraved deeds committed at the expense of the vulnerable are not acceptable in today’s society. The law is clear on such offences (Sexual Offense Act 2003) . However, in this case, the victim didn’t want to press charges or pursue the matter legally.

The Sikh Helpline sat down with the family, and went over the issues with them. They were made aware that not having a loving/caring environment between the parents and towards the children, was directly having a negative effect on the children’s personal growth. A leaflet was given on the 6 Stages Of Grooming along with a detailed conversation on how to deal with these situations effectively should they ever arise again. A holiday was implemented for the girl, to create a mental and physical breathing space between her and her sexual tormenters.

As a result of the action taken, the victim has cut all ties with the offenders and the parents have made a concerted effort to make the house from an empty shell to a loving home.

We should all make an effort to be aware of our environment and ourselves. This is a classic case of neglect, which could have been avoided if effective lines of communication were open. If you are witness to such injustices and feel the need to help but you don’t know which way to turn please contact the Sikh Helpline. Our main focus will always be the welfare of the victim, in all aspects of their wellbeing and we will not take action without the consent of the person in question.

We are here to help.  #everycallmatters  #sikhhelpline #abuse